Monday, January 23, 2012

I May Be A Puma, But You’re Still A Rat


On Sunday morning October 30th, 2011, I was standing outside the jail in Van Nuys, CA doing my thing, ya’ know?  Passing out my cards and trying to hustle up some business during the jail’s visiting hours.  Regulations are not enforced outside this jail by the city or by anyone else for that matter.  It’s a free for all.  So any bail bondsman or a solicitor or even an undocumented person (which are hired by some bail bond companies in Van Nuys) can stand outside the jail and basically negotiate a bail bond right there in the street, whether the Department of Insurance approves or not. 

Since there are no rules or regulations enforced outside the jail, I’ve witnessed (and even experienced myself) other bail bond agents get into heated arguments, shoving matches, physical fights.  These conflicts have escalated to such extremes as terroristic threats, the filing of restraining orders and/or law suits against each other!  I have to say that if you like “drama”, this is definitely the place to be! LOL!!!


There are some bail agents who have been “hustling” outside the Van Nuys jail for years and now they think they own that jail.  Really?  Snap out of it people! This brings me back to Mr. David Matamoros again!  This guy hasn’t learned the lesson to “shut the hell up!”


So on the Sunday in question, Mr. Matamoros was standing outside the jail about 3 to 4 yards away from me.  He began talking to one of his “loser” assistants about my blog.  I say “loser” because Mr. Matamoros can order him to kneel down and lick Mr. Matamoros’s feet and this “loser” would do it!


Mr. Matamoros began ranting and saying, “Who fuckin’ cares about your stupid blog” and he added that I was a loser for writing it.  The reason this guy is so angry is because I blasted him on one of my blogs.  As you might recall, he is the bail bondsman who is writing bail outside the jail illegally at 5%.  You would think that after that blog, he would shut up and never talk to me again, right?  But no! He feels the need to keep talking.  I told him on many occasions that he needs to learn to just stay quiet, because almost every time he speaks; all he does is give me ammunition against him! Listen to me, David!  I know what I’m talking about here!


Once he began with his verbal diarrhea, I realized that he was talking about me, so I walked closer to him and I stood right in front of him, face to face. Then I told him, “I’m right here, why aren’t you talking to me to my face?  You have something to say?”  He got so angry and responded, “You better get your ass away from me, before I beat the shit out of you!”  Oh see?!  My blog is definitely working!  ;-)  I told him that he’s a pathetic loser and that I’m sure he’s proud of being a crook.  At this point we moved away from each other, he sat on the bench right in front of the jail and I stood about 3 yards away from him.


He continued to call me every single insult on the book; that I’m “bitch, a slut, a whore”…seriously, who gets offended by that nowadays?  I sure don’t!  My reply to those insults is usually, “Yeah, so? And what’s the problem with that?”  He began to get angrier because he realized that his insults were not offending me.  So he began picking on my appearance. Mr. Matamoros said to me, “You’re a fucking old lady!  Look at all the wrinkles you have!”  I said, “Is that all you have David?”  He was really getting irritated at this point and said “You think you’re hot, but you’re not!  You’re a 50 year old ‘cougar’ dressing like an eighteen year old!  You’re a joke!  You’re so ugly!”  Hahahahahahaha!!!!  I’m “so ugly” he said!  Is this guy in Kindergarten still?  LOL!!!!  When I was in Kindergarten I used to hear little girls tell me that.  I’m sure I said that to some girls too; but that was when I was 5 years old!!!!  I just couldn’t stop laughing once he told me that!

I told Mr. Matamoros, that I was actually wearing my 11 year old daughter’s jeans and not those of an eighteen year old.  My youngest daughter and I are the same size.  So there’s no need to buy extra jeans when we can both share.  I’m not 50 years old, but I do like dating younger men.  Younger guys are definitely more fun! I’m not a cougar yet; but I do refer to myself as a “Puma” ;-)

Get your facts straight Mr. Matamoros!!!  



Nancy Tiscareno - Super Bond Girl



Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Bikini... CHECK!… Police Motorcycle... CHECK!... Now Where to Pin the Badge?

As you may recall, back in August 2011, I walked around outside the Van Nuys jail and courts only wearing my pink bikini.  This is where and why I took my now seemingly famous pink bikini picture.  What you don’t know about is all the drama that was happening in Orange County around the same time, due to another picture I took a few hours earlier on top of a police motorcycle.  And yes, I was wearing a bikini on that picture too!  

It was around 110 degrees in Van Nuys, CA on the day I decided to prove a point and walk around in my bikini.  I was well aware that I was going to be almost half naked on the street, but once I get an idea in my head and I think it’s going to work, I always go for it! 

After taking a few pictures in front of the Van Nuys Jail, I walked with my friend David back to my office.  Once we got there, I received a phone call from a man who identified himself as Investigator Boggs from the Internal Affairs Unit from a police department in Orange County that is going to remain nameless on this blog for obvious reasons!  Though some could argue it’s the location of the “Happiest Place on Earth”…LOL!!! ;-)

Investigator Boggs proceeded to tell me that he was conducting an internal investigation regarding a couple of pictures that I’d posted on my Facebook the previous day.  He said that he wanted to find out the conditions under these pictures were taken since I was posing on top of one of their police motorcycles.  By the time investigator Boggs called me; the pictures had been on my Facebook account for no more than 10 hours!  Oh my goodness!  I’m definitely flattered to see the efficiency I inspired within this department!  LOL!!

Boggs talked to me in a very commanding tone and said, “At what time can you be at the police station tomorrow?”  Oh snap!  Investigator Boggs didn’t know it then; but I don’t do very well when a man “commands” me to do something.  I knew I was not in any type of trouble, so very gracefully I said to him, “I’m not going to your police station tomorrow.  I have no business there, unless I’m posting a bond of course”.  There were a few seconds of silence; I didn’t hear any response from Boggs and all of the sudden he changed his tone of voice and asked me very sweetly, “But why not? You’re not into any type of trouble”.  I said to him, “I know I’m not in trouble”.  And then I thought to myself, “but I know somebody that might be, and I’m not throwing anyone under the bus!”

Boggs then said that it was going to be a brief interview and that I should be in and out of the police station in no time.  Yeah right!  I wasn’t born yesterday!!!  I continued to decline his invitation to the police station. I told him that he was conducting an ‘internal’ investigation and that I didn’t have anything to do with that.  He then went back to a “slightly” commanding tone again and said to me, “I don’t want to argue with you!”  I said to him, “There’s no reason to argue, I already told you ‘NO’”!  (I wish I would have seen his face when I said that!)

Boggs wasn’t getting anywhere with me, so very nicely he told me, “Why don’t I leave you my name and number, in case you change your mind you can call me”.  I said to him, “Ok! Let me have your information, but I’m already telling you that I’m not changing my mind”.   He gave me his name and number and we ended the phone call. 

My friend David couldn’t stop laughing after I hung up the phone! Oh my goodness! Who blew the whistle about the motorcycle pictures is what I wanted to know?!?!  ...   I have taken pictures next to patrol cars from different police departments in different cities and no one has ever called me about that!  (Of course, I wasn’t wearing a bikini on those pictures though!)  According to my sources, the police department conducted their internal investigation and concluded that no officer was at fault, nor involved in the taking of my pictures.  No disciplinary action was ever taken against anyone on that department.  I’m still not going to talk about how these pictures were taken or who was involved, but I think we all got a pretty good laugh about it.  The pictures were taken for fun, and I never thought anyone would get into trouble because of them.




Nancy Tiscareno - Super Bond Girl